We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
