allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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