Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
