Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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