the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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