So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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