I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
