I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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