Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
