ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
