I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
