reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
