So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
