Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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