shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
