I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
My liver just had a heart attack.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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