Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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