Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
