I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Little spoons don't ask big questions
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
