Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
