I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
