his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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