:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
