its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize