I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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