Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So vagazzling was a success
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
