C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
