why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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