I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is wine microwaveable?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
