I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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