Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
