And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Randomize
