Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
