Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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