So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
