I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i think i have two assholes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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