I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
someone threw a dead crab at me
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
