You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
