You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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