Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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