Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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