Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
We don't watch enough power rangers
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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