I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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