She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
