The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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