This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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