Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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