I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize