I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
