A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We got so high we made milksteak
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Randomize
