lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
