im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Boobs are out for the taking
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
