god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she smelled like a LAN party
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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