Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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