ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
