everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
