Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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