we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
