also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
