Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
