Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
