office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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