"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Sober January is a disaster.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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