I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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